What does one do???

What does one do when one finds out that the past year and a half has been nothing but an illusion? What does one do when one finally is made to realise that the friends one thought were true were nothing but empty and an utter and complete lie?

My weekend began in the most exciting manner. I had Onstage to look forward to that night and I was of course hoping the band I was supporting would win! And they did finally. Yeah, Soulskinner. And of course the next day I was going to meet my 2 best friends for lunch and basically spend the whole day together.

Let me tell you about these two. My oldest and closest and bestest friend whom I shall call 'A' I've known for more than 8 years! She has been there for me through thick and thin. And trust me, that has been quite a bit of work for her! My other friend 'B' I've known for more than 4 years and the 3 of us have basically been like the 3 musketeers. All for one and one for all! Our friendship has been a strong one. From the time we were in school.

Suddenly last Sunday I found out that 'B' has been going behind my back and portraying me as such a No.1 Bitch to 'A' and that also, during the past year and a half my other so-called friends with whom I worked, have been telling things about me to 'B' to make her change her mind about me; and that certain other people have also been saying such monumental lies about me and what I've been upto during my 'spare time' that that alone would be enough to make anyone jump off the first bridge they come across! Not that I'm going to do that because one of my friends recently killed himself and I'm anti-suicide! But that's beside the point.

What does one do when such 'revelations' have been made to oneself? Thank GOD for 'A' who had the guts to tell me the stuff 'B' had been coming and telling her including all the rest that all the others had been saying about me! Or else I still would be considering ALL of them as my friends! I can't believe that this has happened. I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE ANY OF THIS! Trust me. If I had been in her shoes I probably would have tried to spare her of the truth. That woman has more courage than I!

Why would she do this and say all the things she has said? Doesn't our friendship count for anything? Does it even count for at least peanuts??? I guess it doesn't.

What do I do? Anyone who is reading this PLEASE GIVE ME AN ANSWER! I desperately need one. I just can't handle this. I trusted her so much! And I trusted all those others too. And this is what I get for trusting people! How could 'B' ESPECIALLY let anything or anyone influence her heart? Was she that unsure of me? Was I such a bad friend? I guess I was. I guess I was...

Please forgive my rather long silence. Have been rather busy lately. After Sunday of course I just wasn't in the mood...